Granted, my life is weirder than many. But I’ve found all of these useful in real life (whatever THAT is).

  • “What a pisser.” – Airplane
  • “Well, let’s not start sucking each others’ dicks quite yet.” – Pulp Fiction
  • “Haven’t you ever heard of suspension of disbelief?” – Ed Wood
  • “They found a peanut, all right, honey. They found a peanut of death!” – Tromeo & Juliet
  • Shakespeare is cool.

  • “Keep watching the sky, MacIntyre.” – Local Hero
  • “You are tearing me apart, Lisa!” – The Room
  • “Work, work, work, hello boys, have a good night’s rest? I missed you.” – Blazing Saddles
  • “Now I’m gonna stick ya.” – Nothing but Trouble
  • “I suppose you think you raised hell.” – Miller’s Crossing
  • Are you giving me the high hat?

  • “Here come two words for you: shut the fuck up.” – Midnight Run
  • “Your mother’s a tracer!” – Chasing Amy
  • “It’d take a man with an awfully big set of balls to make a bet like that.” – Diggstown
  • I know these three don't inspire confidence, but trust me, it's great.

  • “Well then I just hate you, and I hate your ass face!” – Waiting for Guffman
  • “Gimme back my hand!” – Evil Dead 2
  • “Doesn’t that suck? I just hit you for no reason.” – Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
  • “You fucking broke my sitar, motherfucker!” – Dig!
  • Dig?

  • “Only stupid people have good relationships.” – Ghost World
  • “Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw!” – Heathers
  • “Suck-ass son of a bitch!” – Used Cars
  • “Let’s go get sushi and not pay.” – Repo Man
  • “Average is dumb.” – American Splendor

BONUS: Not useful in everyday life, maybe, but deeply true:

  • “I don’t like when somebody comes up to me the next day and says, ‘Hey, man, I saw your play. It touched me; I cried.’ I like it when a guy comes up to me a week later and says, ‘Hey, man, I saw your play… what happened?’” – Tootsie
  • That is one nutty hospital.

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